The Sports Week in Review 8/5/07

5 08 2007

by maddness

You went camping this weekend, caught a beautiful salmon, had a few beers with your crew and just got back home. The wrench in this seemingly beautiful weekend is the fact you missed out on an action packed sports weekend. Well, you have two choices: you could go watch the same hour long sports news show over and over again on a major network or…just read the next few paragraphs.

Bonds equals Aaron, hits 755
It finally happened; Barry Bonds hit the first of two historical homeruns, ending at least some of the anxiety. Bud Selig was in attendance at Petco Park in San Diego when Bonds hit 755, but he might as well not have been. The way Selig acted “toward” Bonds was like the girl you hooked up with at a party, but the next time you see her she acts like she doesn’t know who you are. Selig isn’t out of the woods yet, because tomorrow there is another party in San Diego, a ton of beer, and who knows what’s going to happen?

A-Rod v500
Alex Rodriguez took one step closer to making this whole Bonds thing obsolete in a few seasons, as he hit his 500th homerun Sunday. A-Rod is the youngest player ever to accomplish entry into the 500 Club, accenting the voice he hears in his head nightly, “Just stay healthy”. Alex will be the first Mr. 800 in Major League history, but what uniform will he be wearing?

A new Big 3 in Boston?
The deal was made official this week, sending Kevin Garnett to the Boston Celtics for a handful of young talent and draft picks. The Boston Celtics held their press conference which introduced KG to the Boston media and put him at a panel sitting next to new teammates Paul Pierce and Ray Allen. Watching Kevin Garnett, Paul Pierce, and Ray Allen sitting next to one another in Celtics jerseys made Boston fans saracastically grin and say “Holy Sh**” as a collective nation. Meanwhile, back in Minnesota, Ricky Davis is also saying “Holy Sh**”, but for a completely different reason.

Tiger Dominates Field at Bridgestone
Tiger blew out his competition Sunday at the Bridgestone Invitational, getting his head right for the final major even of the year. At least he wasn’t distracted by all the madness and craze over the “Who’s Now?” finals on ESPN. Don’t be sad “Who’s Now?” is almost over; ESPN will make an even bigger deal of another fake competition soon enough.

X-Gamer Lucky To Be Alive
Jake Brown took extreme to another level this weekend, losing his board in mid-air and falling from over 40 feet in the air. Brown, a reputable figure in the skateboarding world, was motionless for nearly 8 minutes after impact, with tears filling the eyes of audience members and viewers everywhere. To the delight of all, Brown was able to get up and walk out of the area on his own two feet, and eventually made it to the hospital with some internal injuries; but it could have been a lot worse. You can almost see some parents now asking if skateboarding is too dangerous for their children. Listen, it is Extreme sports for a reason. Please, parents and commissioners; don’t regulate this one, please.



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